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♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥ JEWELZ ♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥

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Is Back Online again!!!! [Mar. 5th, 2008|01:13 pm]
♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥ JEWELZ ♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥
[mood |pissed offpissed off]

-Well it feels like a year maybe it is. But I'm back on line again. YAY! I have a pretty shiny pink laptop now :D

Am really happy with a few exceptions grrrr I'm on face book and one of my friends has put ugly fat huge hippo photo's of me up and it's really pissed me off. I don't look like that anymore. I was going through such a hard time back then. and I dont know how to get rid of them i think i'm going to just delete my account if I cant get rid of them. I worked really hard to get back into shape that year and I got down to a size 12 and i took pics of me and put them up on here. Well i've started to put the weight back on again but seeing those pic's of me back then has made me want to get fit again. So maybe it's for a good reason.

I'm very conscious of how i look and i think i'm a bit shallow in the fact that i'm insecure how others see me too. It's due to society that i feel this way.

I still haven't forgiven GOSH yet and this is something i'm still working on. While living in that hospital i was so scared of loosing my daughter that i was punishing myself by eating crap foods and i went up to a size 18 That hen holiday i went on wasnt that long after.

It's the past but apart i'd like to forget. Yet it still keeps popping up. And the reason why is due to recurring pattens and that's due to me not forgiving GOSH.

*I forgive GOSH, i release you, i hold no un-forgiveness back, you are free, i am free.*

Anyways i'm back


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Just checking in.... [Jan. 29th, 2008|10:26 am]
♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥ JEWELZ ♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥
Ok so not much happening my end of the path but I'd love to know what's happening with everyone else just so I can catch up.

Still have no PC am going to get a lap top this year I think.

Might be going to Brighton next month, we will see.


Abs is doing well she is eight now. Was her birthday a few weeks back.

I'm still single lol nothing new there lol

Still living the same place.

Want to start salsa.

Hmm Oh and I went to euro disney with abs :D

Ok thats it apart from had a fantastic christmas and i know this year is going to be a good one.

All my love and light


P.S the latest book i'm reading is called The Power Of Now :D

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slight change in plans [Nov. 7th, 2007|01:24 pm]
♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥ JEWELZ ♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥
Ok slight change in plans LOL Still moving to Brighton but with no money LOL I applied to the housing there though and all they need is a letter from nick explaining why me and abs cant live there anymore. OK so my head went abit off the rails as usual about me thinking all I do is sell the house and I get all the money LOL

It sells and the money left goes on the morgage and so on as nick cant afford to pay anymore and whats left over i'm giving to abs for her future.

And when the devorce is settled then I will get a settlement. But untill then me and abs are skint lol

I'm hoping to get back online again soon too. So can keep in contact more then.

Take care all.

Oh found out something about life the other day for myself....

Never rely or depend or exspect or put your happiness, hopes and dreams on anyone or anything. Cause if it's not there anymore you will have nothing left for yourself.

So now even if I get married again I will not give myself fully to that person.

But thats just me.

I believe only your true self can give you all these things.

Once you find it in yourself then can you have everything.

love to all

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Starting a new [Oct. 20th, 2007|02:00 pm]
♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥ JEWELZ ♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥
I'm off to Brighton to look for a place to live and srat a fresh new life.

I've got 70 grand cash to play with so i'm going to give 50 keep 20 as a safety net and bortrow the rest from the bank and pay a small morgage a month. I'm looking for somewhere for about 125 150 grand I work out that the place will be all mine and I'm going to get into the property ladder so I'm going to live just outside brighton for a few years wait for the area and prises to go up then move. If I keep doing this it's possiable to finally get somewhere with no morgage. I've found property developers to guide me and help me out so I have nothing to worry about.

Wish me luck


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Hello Everyone :D [Sep. 7th, 2007|02:02 pm]
♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥ JEWELZ ♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥
I have decided to become a Samaritan Volunteer so I can help others and guide others to a better happiness and way of life.

I have always helped people as much as I could and as I haven't had a computer for a long time I haven't been around so I have found it hard to communicate on here. But that dosent stop me for helping people face to face or over the phone so that's what I'm going to do. And when I have my computer up and running I will be helping people online too.

I have known for a long time that my destiny lies in helping others but I needed to help myself first before I could become a Samaritan.

I know how to not let things get me down and others get me down.

I have found it's all about know what drama's people are in and what to do to get them out of it. It's about need....need of energy that keeps us alive. We struggle for it and fight for it and create drama's for it and it's to do with power. The more energy you have the better you feel.

Thats why you get highs and lows. you take peoples enery or they take yours

But if you learnt how to give your enery instead of this continious battle for it we would all be the same energy. *ONE*


You give energy when you love someone or care about someone deeply and when you do this to the other person you will see them glow. And they give you that energy back so then you are both in what is called and continious energy flow. *Euphoria* Or *in love* It's a rush of energy you both share with eachother.

Thats also why wer enjoy sex. just to get this energy feeling

but some times only one person gets this *Euphoria* and thats cause only one is giving energy and the other is taking it.

It's taken me over a year to find this and explains why I fall in love and out of love all the time. Cause infact i'm getting energy and not getting energy.

I am now learning to give my energy to others all the time and learning not to fall inlove at first sight.

Its the heart we should fall inlove with *LOVE* the heart energy.


phill collins knew lol

Love to all of you and


Love you hunny

Sending my energy to each and everyone of you

I have one questions to all that reads this.

Tell me something. What do you want? what do you really want? no erms if's but's forget that. No excuses or thinking you cant have this.

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Hey Everyone [Aug. 31st, 2007|04:14 pm]
♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥ JEWELZ ♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥
Hey Everyone

Just thought i'd pop by and say hi to all that reads my journal. I have been kinda busy for a while with sorting out moving to brighton. I keep bumping into old friends too and new ones. I really feel i'm here to help people that walks into my life. I use to help people as much as I could on the net but I don't have the net anymore so I find that difficult.

I will say this though, I will never forget anyone I have had the pleasure of meeting and becoming friends with on or off the net. I believe we all met for a reason and the reason I now believe is. We all give messages to one another. Answers to questions we seek in life. This could be in any form fit for understanding. I understand now and look for messages in my life each day and I get them and use them wisely

Just today before coming here I met a lovely women and her son and they came to me for help and I helped them the way I know best. I told them of books that have turned my life around totally.

The Secret

The Celestine Prophecy

These 2 books have change mine and abs life around totally and helped me in ways I never thought possible. I have found everything I wished for. We are the happiest we have ever been and when you find this happiness this love inside for yourself. The world and people around you start to change.

I Thank everyone and everything I believe in everyone and everything

I am so happy and grateful for everything that is in my life right now and everything that comes into my life and cause I know how life works now I make it the best of my ability.

I send all that I know and all that reads this love Energy cause thats all we need.

Love for ourselves and for others




Good Friends are like angels you don't have to see them to know they are there
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I've Met The most spiritual young man [Aug. 3rd, 2007|10:39 pm]
♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥ JEWELZ ♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥
He lives in Brighton, is a student of my dada's and my dada is teaching him to be a teacher then marster in ti chi. He has even started teaching others himself. I'm so happy for him. He is a younger version of my dada. He believes in the same beliefs as me. He beat me at drafts lol He's so funny, energetic, romantic, honest, beautiful,sexy intelligent man. tall and he wants me to move to brighton.

Infact everyone I've met at Brighton wants me and abs move.

I've always wanted to live in Brighton and now I want too even more than ever. It's Mine and abs destany.

David took me out friday evening with fred a fab french girl was amazing we went round viv's for dinner. Met so many beautiful people who are now my friends too. We all went to a fantastic bar after and we stayed till 2am with more friends. Then me david fred had a slow walk home. I practically saw him every day. We are so close. I really like him. I wrote him a beautiful letter which he loved and we are going to stay in touch.

every morning loads of us meet at this special café then go to the beach or somewhere else exciting. Or just stay at the café. This is who I am, this is where I belong.

It's not like other cafe's its where magic happens. its and in door out door café which has no music but you can play the guitar that's there and jam. Or read or play games.

The other day I was singing with this guy playing guitar. Was so cool.

Obviously Abs being with me mostly all the time also loved her stay at brighton. She met 2 special friends. fate and juliet

Friends I made in just under two weeks

David lov him lots spent lots of time together he even walked with me abs and my dada to the coach station.

steven and lulu lovely girl mother of fate who abs played with everyday. her boyfriends steven. We took them both out to the beach and pool and playground lots.

Met Peter Love her she's an angel

vass and jen I did crystal healing and raki with and dan's vass's fella who has dj with fat boy slim. I also met vass, dan at viv's when we had a meal/bar. Plus vass and jen came over my dada's for a meal and of course david lol

was truly amazing. we watched the celestine prophecy :)

sarah new girl helped her get a job

blaze she fainted on me

viv went to hers with david and fred for a meal

joe works at the famous cafe
show chef at cafe
jack owns café

amy met a few times at café.

Me and abs hav'ent felt so happy and at home ever before.

Been offered to stay over any time by mostly everyone Awwww

It's a beautiful place with beautiful people

I can't wait to move there.
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Alive, Awake, Well, Happy, Content [Jul. 21st, 2007|02:12 am]
♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥ JEWELZ ♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥
[mood |contentcontent]
[music |criminal minds]

So just a quick update.

Me and abs are coolio.

Work is fabulous

seen a few films

Eragon: brilliant

Flushed away:
very good

Pride and prejudice series Love it...

Going on holiday for 2 weeks in brighton. :)

love and light to everyone



P.S when I get my laptop I'll start commenting and communicating again. Just all I have is my pocket computer. Plus my life is so full and busy that all I use my PC for is to check emails and myspace and sometimes msn messenger.

Hope everyone is happy and well.

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Chasing Feathers [Jun. 21st, 2007|03:03 pm]
♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥ JEWELZ ♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥
[mood |gratefulAwareness]
[music |King Arthur's Disasters]

I had the most joyful day today. I did a meditation under a tree with pine cones all around me in a circle of light and nature. Then I walked on the green bare foot which was covered in clover and daisy's picking up feathers singing and dancing to Bob Sinclare with harmony in my heart. I loved every moment being filled with happiness on this beautiful sunny day. My fave thing was a game I called *Chasing Feathers* you find a feather then hold it in the air and wait for the wind to take it. The best are the white fluffy white angel feathers. Or if you find a big smooth feather then you can keep chasing that one. *The best things in life are free* One of my big feathers kept flying high in the air and spinning around. Later I went to our local market and bought a wooden tree wind chime and two summer hippy dresses. I adore life. Then I went health food shopping... Then home. Now watching *King Arthur's Disasters* which I think is so funny.

Happy Thoughts

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just a quick update [Jun. 15th, 2007|12:40 pm]
♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥ JEWELZ ♥ *¤*¤*¤* ♥
[mood |happyhappy]
[music |bob sinclare]

i'm workink now as a party host at a bowling alley. we are called the alley cats. I love it. its so much fun. I get to have fun with all the kids party's sing them happy birthday, make model balloons, sing and dance with the kids.

its like being a red coat in buttlins hehe.

well love you all hope all is gping well in your lives.

take care everyone.


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